


Twenty-Four

by SunriseRose1023



Series: Tumblr Number Drabbles [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Demon Dean, Emotional Hurt, Gen, POV First Person
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-06
Updated: 2015-10-06
Packaged: 2018-04-25 02:44:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 985
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4943665
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SunriseRose1023/pseuds/SunriseRose1023
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"You're the only one I trust to do this."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Twenty-Four

**Author's Note:**

> So I stumbled across this Tumblr post that had a list of prompts, numbered 1-50. Pick a number and a pairing, and then comes a drabble. I've got a handful of prompts that I've written based on numbers I've forced my friends and family to pick. This one is based on number 24, "You're the only one I trust to do this."

**Trust**

I shook my head as I stared at him, feeling glued to the place I was standing. He gave me a sad smile, then nodded his head again.

“Please, baby.”  
“No. No, I … I can’t.”

Dean sighed, closing his eyes. After taking a breath, he opened them again, and I couldn’t help the gasp that slipped through my lips when his pitch-black eyes focused on me. I shut my eyes, turning my head away from him.

“Please don’t do that.”  
“I’m sorry. I just … This is who I am now. And I don’t … I can’t be this, baby.”

I glanced over at him, breathing a breath of relief when warm emerald was gazing back at me. I took a step forward, and he instinctively took a step back.

“I don’t want to hurt you.”  
“You won’t.”  
“Not as long as you stay over there.”

I shook my head, coming to a stop at the edge of the red paint.

“You can’t expect me to stand back there and have this conversation.”  
“I don’t want you to get too close.”  
“You’re not going to hurt me, Dean. I know it.”

He blew out a breath, putting his hands on his hips.

“You saw what happened. What I did to—to Sam.”

I looked down, swallowing hard.

“He’ll be all right, Dean.”

Dean let out a humorless laugh.

“Well, it’s good to know that I didn’t kill my little brother. That’s a relief. Oh, but you know what the problem is here?”

He looked at me again, blinking and causing his eyes to go black.

“It doesn’t even bother me.”

He blinked the black away, and his green eyes were pleading with me.

“How can that be okay? How can I sit here, knowing that I nearly killed Sam and it not bother me? He’s in the hospital right now, because of me, and I’m more worried about what I can eat for dinner later.”

He let out another laugh, shaking his head.

“This isn’t me. You _know_ that this isn’t me. I can’t … I can’t live like this, baby.”

I felt the tears well up in my eyes, and I couldn’t blink them back this time.

“You can’t ask me to do this. Not _this,_ Dean.”  
“Baby—“  
“What if it doesn’t work? Big deal, right? But, Dean … What if it does?”

I shook my head, going to step forward, but stopping when he looked at me again. I blinked, feeling a tear slip down my cheek.

“What if it works the way that we know it to work? How am I supposed to go on, knowing what I’ve done?”  
“Can you go on with me like this? I am not the same guy anymore. I … I’ve done things that I never want you to find out about.”

My heart gave a lurch at that, and he pushed a hand through his hair.

“I’ve become this thing that we hunt, and I hate it. Right now, I can think about what I’ve done and it makes me _sick_. But when the black eyes take over, I can’t even feel anything. Nothing at all. It’s empty and hollow and I can’t see right from wrong, and it doesn’t even bother me.”

He met my eyes again.

“I can’t live like this. Please.”

I closed my eyes, covering my mouth with my hand. The tears came too fast for me to stop them, and it’s not like I could stop them even if I wanted to. I heard him grunt before he gave an exasperated sigh, and I looked up to see his hand outstretched towards me, stopping just short of touching me, at the edge of the Devil’s Trap. I couldn’t stop the sob that came, and I shook my head.

“I can’t do this without touching you.”  
“Baby—“  
“Please.”

I saw the fight go out of him, and I stepped forward, entering the trap, wrapping my arms around him. His body just engulfed me, strong arms wrapping me up tight, and I put my face where I always did, at his neck, my forehead touching his jaw.

“Promise me that when this works, you won’t try and bring me back.”

I gave another sob, and his hands tightened around me.

“Don’t make me do this. Please, Dean, _please_ don’t make me do this.”

He held me for a moment longer, then moved back just enough to cup my face in his hands, kissing me the way he always did. Slow, deep, with so much passion it nearly brought me to my knees. I kissed him back, crying so hard I could barely breathe, and when he rested his forehead against mine, I brought my hands up to touch his face, slowly moving my fingertips over every inch of his features. He didn’t move, just let me touch him, and when I finally moved back, he smiled at me.

“Let’s do it.”

I don’t know how, but I managed to step back, holding his hand as long as I possibly could, until I was outside the Devil’s Trap, and he was still in it. My chest hurt, and I could barely breathe through the tears that were still pouring down my face. I looked down at my feet for a moment, then I let out a shaky breath.

“Are you sure?”

Dean gave me a sad smile.

“You’re the only one I trust to do this.”

I nodded slowly, exhaling again.

“I love you.”  
“I know.”

I couldn’t help but laugh, and he smiled at me. We just looked at each other for a long moment, and he finally gave me a nod. I let out a breath, pressing my hand over my heart, and then swallowed. I watched as he closed his eyes, and when he opened them again, darkness stared back at me. I straightened my spine, speaking as steadily as I could.

_”Exorcizamus te …”_


End file.
